In case the sudden explosion of wish lists, gift guides, and doorbuster sales—as well as, y’know, a basic grasp of the passage of time—weren’t enough to clue you in, it’s true: The holidays are back, and you’d better get those gift-giving juices flowing.
The ideal gift for anyone who likes fun, obviously, is a Watson Adventures gift certificate. They’re good toward public and private scavenger hunts all across the country! Somewhat less ideal, but still pretty fun, would be one of these bonkers gift options we found in museum gift shops.
The One-Eared Mug
That Vincent Van Gogh mug up top is instantly recognizable and honestly pretty cute…but the thought of that big band-aid comin’ at you when you’re trying to drink your coffee is pretty off-putting.
Taco Tyrant
Let the king of the dinosaurs spice up (sorry) taco night with this Tacosaurus Rex taco holder. He can also apparently hold things like Eggo waffles and hilariously short pieces of toast.
Otter Genius
We love a good pun, and Otter Things has got to be one of the best we’ve ever seen in aquarium apparel.
A Light Snack?
Keep things light this Hanukkah with the Gold Nosh Menorah. It’s supposed to remind you of a bagel, because that’s a pretty Jewish food, we guess, but it kinda just looks like a shiny macaroni noodle.
Speaking of Jewish Food…
The National Mustard Museum is a thing that exists, apparently, and so is this six-jar gift set of Hanukkah Mustard. They’re not kosher or anything, but one of them has…a cat and mouse singing together? Is that a Hanukkah thing?
“Augmented” Doesn’t Always Mean “Better”
“Deskfruit anchors the splendor of AR in real-world objects that you can hold in your hand. Think of Deskfruit augmented reality objects as futuristic totems. These strange wooden objects have magical powers.” Ha ha just kidding! Deskfruit is a little block of wood that sits on your desk and does nothing unless you open an augmented reality app and point your phone at it to play boring mini-games.
Speaking of Things That Sit on Your Desk…
Do you know someone who’d enjoy looking at a matte black approximation of the silhouette of a weirdly tall bonsai tree instead of, like, a real plant or whatever? What a specific thing to know about a person! Anyway, buy them this Inflatable Bonsai Tree.
The Most Stressful Mug We’ve Ever Seen
If you’ve ever gotten a parking ticket in New York City, you’ll recognize—and instantly hate—this mug! Get it for that one friend who thought hanging onto their car when they moved to Brooklyn was a good idea and now has nightmares about alternate-side parking.
Still Upset About the Mug?
Then get your angry hands on this Anti-Stress Pencil from the Museum of Broken Relationships. Snap it in half, and both halves are still functioning pencils! Handy.
Messin’ with Sasquatch
Aspiring cryptid hunters rejoice! This Bigfoot Research Kit from the International Cryptozoology Museum has everything you need to catalogue the habits, movements, and even bowel movements of your local Bigfoots.
This Thing Is Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S
There’s always money in the banana lamp. Three-hundred and seventy-five American dollars, to be exact, because that’s how much some maniac thought it was OK to charge for one.
Ohh, So THAT’S Why
Mystifyingly listed as a children’s book, Why Is Art Full of Naked People? lays bare some of the reasons a trip to an art museum is always a fleshy one.
Domo Ariga-tie!
Wasabi what we did there? This sushi tie doubles as a cute accessory and a menu for when you can’t decide what you want for lunch.
Dress Like an Egyptian
Impress the living and the dead with this Coffin of Bakenmut t-shirt. It’s 65% polyester, 35% cotton, and 100% not cursed by an evil mummy, we promise.
More Like Mega CUTE!
Available exclusively from the Mütter Museum of medical oddities, this little-ish guy is the cutest plush recreation of a nine-foot-long diseased colon money can buy.=
This One’s Just Owl Puke
Yep. Literally a $9 box of owl barf. Happy holidays!